Uncomfort Zone

by Jo · 2010/09/23

Once upon a Christmas, long, long ago, when I was young and pretty… OK, it was not so long ago and I wasn’t as young as I never was!

Names and dates are withheld as this is based on real people. The likelihood that they will ever read this is not high and no real feelings shall be hurt. This is simply an example of how people get stuck in their uncomfort zone.

One Christmas I spent a few days with a family that is described here forth. It is not a very extraordinarily odd family, or different in any respect, or even remarkable in a dysfunctional sense. As I describe what took place it is a sad reminder of how people get stuck in themselves and just do not move on.

The parents were divorced and that was probably a good decision. The father, on accounts, is a bit of a cad and has moved on and is quite happy as reports have it. The mother, although a little housebound, seems to be coping. It is obvious that the family seems to have some resentment towards the father.

The oldest sibling has never married or ever gotten over the father of her child who abandoned both of them and has never acknowledged either of them. She is stuck. Her son is her life and she seems to be unwilling to let go of the child’s father, thus leaving no possibility of a companion entering her life.

Her son is in his late teens now and generally doted on by everyone. Amazingly enough, he is a bright, pleasantly mannered young man, but overweight. I guess the past is always carried in some form or other when not dealt with.

The second sister is miserable in her marriage and seems to be finding relief in the thought of divorce. It is sad to see two wonderful people forever committed to be unhappily ever after. Perhaps divorce is best for them as it was for her parents.

The son is probably the most in denial. He is completely unwilling to even contemplate moving on from his long relationship that ended several years before. He sold his business and the house and blew it all on taking an oblivious bubble tour of England. Of course running away didn’t help in any way.

Having returned home, he spends far too much time delving into his nephew’s family ties, hell bent on bringing the father to responsibility. It bears the appearance of a noble way to avoid reality.

I’m not much of a drinker and the odd vodka suits me just fine but after a few days I began to see a pattern of drinking to have “fun” but not for anyone not inebriated. A lot of feelings and truth leaks out with the flow of alcohol.

Further denial is expressed in this song by “Empire Of The Sun” called, “We Are The People”. The son insisting on playing it loudly at 5am on Christmas morning. So loud in fact, that Santa himself just managed to make his getaway before everyone in the neighbourhood was awoken to these lyrics belted with high powered amplification—on repeat! Over and Over!

I said to him that it was a beautifully melodic song but that it was very melancholic. Do I need to add that he did not think so? He just simply swayed unsteadily to the rhythm with the finger on the repeat button singing along to the lyrics. Clearly, this song has some association to his ex.

The details are not as important as the lesson to be learnt from this ordinary family of great people who have imprisoned themselves in their respective uncomfort zones.

Empire Of The Sun – We Are The People

We can remember swimming in December.
Heading for the city lights in 1975.
We share in each other.
Nearer than farther.
The scent of a lemon drips from your eyes.
We are the people that rule the world.
A force running in every boy and girl.
All rejoicing in the world.
Take me now – We can try.
We lived an adventure
Love in the Summer.
Followed the sun till night
Reminiscing other times of life.
For each every other
The feeling was stronger.
The shock hit eleven – Got lost in your eyes.

I can’t do well when I think you’re gonna leave me. But I know I try.
Are you gonna leave me now.
Can’t you be believing now.

Can you remember and humanize.
It was still where we’d energized.
Lie in the sand and visualize like it’s 75 again.
We are the people that rule the world.
A force running in every boy and girl.
All rejoicing in the world.
Take me now – We can try.
I can’t do well when I think you’re gonna leave me. But I know I try.
Are you gonna leave me now.
Can’t you be believing now.
I can’t do well when I think you’re gonna leave me. But I know I try.
Are you gonna leave me now.
Can’t you be believing now.

I know everything about you.
Know everything about me.
Know everything about us.
(x2)

I can’t do well when I think you’re gonna leave me. But I know I try.
Are you gonna leave me now.
Can’t you be believing now.
I can’t do well when I think you’re gonna leave me. But I know I try.
Are you gonna leave me now.
Can’t you be believing now.
*repeats and fades*