Why Didn’t You Tell Me?


Why Didn’t You Tell Me?

None of Your Business, that’s why!

It’s been a long, long (excuse the penis pun) time since I last wrote something just for fun; just because it amused me. The last few years have been all work and no play, and it all went arse up anyway. So, some classic Jo humour with a touch of pink for colour.

There is one thing that always amuses me — sometimes it even annoys me too. Being gay comes with its own matching luggage, but sometimes the reactions are the Gucci of carry bags. While I have never actually been asked this, I know many people have, and it’s so silly when you stop long enough to think about it.

“Why Didn’t You Tell Me?” [that you’re gay!]

If you know where I am going with this, you will be sniggering already. I know I am. I understand that it’s well-meaning for the most part, but it also shows a lack of awareness of what gay men and women go through. This is one of those gems.


The simple answer is that it is none of your business. There is no rudeness in that statement, just a right to privacy. I like my private life, to remain private. Whom I bonk in private — I’m not an exhibitionist — is really between the two parties involved, or just me as I seem to be perpetually single. What I do with my fingers is quite … well, none of your fantasies.

Seriously, think about it: no heterosexual person wanders around announcing him- or herself this way. Even though it’s taken for granted, and ten percent of the time that assumption will be wrong, it’s just not done.

“Hey, my name is Dick, and I am heterosexual.”

Since I do not go around inquiring about what you do in bed, how you do it, and how often you like to engage in … well, enough said about that, or I’ll have to X-rate this post.

The Moral of this story is that larger is always … no, wait, what am I saying again? Oh yes, just meet people as people. The rest is just unimportant — unless you are seeking a date. I’m available from 6pm until 4am most days.

Read ‘Why We Don’t Need Gay Rights’ next.

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